So This Bird Walks Into a Bar...

The afternoon crowd was just starting to filter into the BugEye Bar.

BugEye himself was tending bar that day. Bug Eye was a rare cross striped inchworm who had moved all the way from the rain forest to Minnesota, where he opened a bird bar.  On the upside, BugEye had the most popular bird bar in town!  On the downside, BugEye had to put up with the constant leering stares he got from his bird customers.

 BugEye knew every single one of the bird-types that came into the bar. He also knew that every single one of them (the bird clientele)...wanted to EAT HIM!  After all, BugEye, was THE biggest inchworm these birds had ever seen! But so far, not one bird had even tried to eat BugEye! The reason? All the birds were AFRAID of his big BUG EYES! When birds ordered a drink from BugEye, they stayed as far away as they could from him, without falling completely off of this bar stool perch.

 Occasionally, a bird would come in and stare at the back of BugEye's head trying to figure out if he could take BugEye and have the meal of a lifetime.

But then, when the bird thought about actually having to come in contact with BugEye's HUGE bug eyes...it gave the bird the 'willies' every time and would send a shiver up and down the bird's spine. It just wasn't worth it to even try to eat BugEye.

BugEye had an fashioned peanut bar where the customers could eat as many peanuts as they liked and then just toss the shells on the ground. It was messy, but it brought in the customers.

Every once in awhile, a couple of strangers from out of town would come into the bar, always keeping their distance, before ordering a drink.

Eventually, one of the new bird customers, usually a female, would sidle up to the bar and say to BugEye, "How does a girl like me, go about getting a guy like you?"

And BugEye would reply, "THAT'S JUST NEVER GONNA HAPPEN LADY!"