The Usual Suspects at a Garage Sale

What to expect if you are a bird and are having your first garage sale!

There will always be the eager first-arrival-of-the-day-shopper who will fly into your sale before you are even set up! This is the shopper who will spot exactly what he or she wants immediately and then literally, stand on it! Standing on it is a bird's method of letting you, as well as any other bird shoppers know, that they DO plan to buy the item and that they have literally staked their claim on it! You do NOT want to mess with a bird standing on a garage sale item!

Next...Plan on having some version of the Gung-Ho sisters visit your sale! They will actually have the gall to continue eating the remains of their fly-thru-fast-food-restaurant-breakfast while walking around and looking at items in your Garage Sale!

Next... There will always be an old crotchety/snippy bird neighbor who will fly down to your sale from his or her house. He/she will never buy anything!  He/she will annoyingly just lurk at your sale, complain about the prices, and give everybody the stink-eye!

At the end of the day, there will always be at least one expensive item left that didn't sell at your garage sale. While you are packing things up, there will be one last bird that comes along just as you are closing. He or she will offer you 1/2 of the price you had originally marked for let's say... the beautiful Mirage, Dept 56 cactus set you are selling! At this point, you will be SO tired, and so vulnerable that you will smile and say "It's a deal!"

After you clean up your yard from the sale, you will pack all the remaining items that didn't sell and fly them to the nearest thrift store. You will not want to bring the sale items back into your home! After you drop off the no-longer wanted garage sale items, you will drive straight to the nearest all-you-can-drink bird bath and you will drink and literally submerge yourself in the water for the rest of the evening! It will be at this point that you will vow to yourself that YOU ARE NEVER HAVING A GARAGE SALE AGAIN!