Farmer's Market - Critter Style

Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen (seen here) started the first ever farmer's market for critters.

Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen often spent time with different critters from the wild. They would shop all over the country looking for favorite items which the friendly critters favored.

One day Merry Bell and Ashleeana decided that THEY would open a little farmer's market for the birds and other creatures which would be open every Saturday morning.

They visited insect raising farmers as well as peanut growers and specialty bird seed sellers.  They purchased abundant quantities in bulk so that they would never run out. Every Saturday they would open their farmer's market critter stand and by the end of the day they would sell out of everything.


Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen were financial entrepreneurs of the highest order.

"The quality is remarkable!", remarked one squirrel who shopped at the sister's market.

"You don't get the freshness Olsen sisters provide, when you shop at regular seed stores!", said another satisfied customer.

Bird Discovers Ancient Jamaican Carvings!

How  "Stottenhedge" was discovered.

It had been Rollie Stottenhedge's dream to discover a place where no bird had flown before!

In 1955, Rollie Stottenhedge achieved his dream!

Rollie was on vacation in Jamaica on a flying expedition, with a group of other tourist birds, when he decided to go exploring on his own. 

That was the decision that changed Rollie's life!

Rollie was flying higher than he ever had before when he thought he caught a glimpse of some faces. Even though he thought he was probably hallucinating, he circled back and flew to the spot where he thought he had actually seen faces. 

Rollie's little heart began to pound...he WAS seeing faces! At that point, Rollie worried that perhaps one of the locals had slipped some type of illegal drug into the worm slushy he had consumed at the last rest stop.

Rollie decided what he was seeing was REAL so he flew down and landed on the carvings and marveled at the incredible view.


When Rollie Stottenhedge flew back to his bird hotel and told the staff what he had discovered they couldn't believe it!

  In 1956, the Prime Minister of Jamaica officially named the newly discovered monument STOTTENHEDGE, in honor of Rollie. It has been a tourist attraction in Jamaica ever since!

Disaster Recovery Roosters - on the job when your house falls down

Edith Chirpwhistle was devastated when a storm blew her house down.  Not only did it fall off the tree it was mounted to, but the wind completely tore the bottom out of her home and flung it out of sight!

When the military heard about Edith's plight, they sent out one of their top secret 'metal disaster recovery roosters' The metal disaster rooster put Edith's house into his wheelbarrow and effortlessly began heading towards disaster recovery headquarters.

The metal rooster paid absolutely NO attention to Edith Chirpwhistle as she clung to her house yelling..."OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!"

For years the military has been working on a top secret project where they re-use old scrap metal, melt it down and create metal disaster recovery roosters.  Each disaster recovery rooster is equipped with a computer chip which has programmed it to sense disasters. When a disaster occurs, the roosters wake up immediately out of a 'resting' pose and begin their rooster walk straight towards the disaster.  The military felt that using a 'rooster' design would be less stressful to already frantic situations than say... a large, sinister, robot-looking, hunk of metal running around!

In Edith Chirpwhistle's case, when she saw the rooster picking up her damaged house she began to calm instantly, knowing that some type of BIRD was involved in helping her re-build. 

Edith Chirpwhistle's home was completely repaired and re-attached to a new wall in her neighborhood.  Edith flew to the ground from her house to thank the disaster recovery rooster, but he was gone.  All Edith could hear was the sound of metal rooster legs going 'clang clang' 'clang clang' as it did it's rooster walk back to headquarters.

Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen raised by chipmunks

When Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen were young their parents had opted out of the parent/child relationship so right then and there, Merri Bell and Ashleena were forced to find a new home!


Merri Bell and Ashleeana immediately ran into a small, worldly knowledgeable, chipmunk. The shifty looking chipmunk took a good look at the girls and said, "Hey red 1 and red 2...You want me to be your daddy?"


Merri Bell and Ashleeana squealed with delight! Most folks say they don't know what happened to Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen after that. 

"Nice Threads!"

Agnita Kretchmer wasn't just any bird. Agnita Kretchmer was a bird who appreciated thread!  She loved all thread! Blue, Red, Heavy-duty, silk, old, new, ... it didn't matter...Agnita just simply loved thread!

While other birds were out gathering nesting materials from the trees and bushes, Agnita was out shopping at a high end thread store!

Agnita's nest was going to be a work of art! It would be woven thread by thread into a COLORFUL, intricate, stunning NEST! Her babies were going to grow up knowing color and textures!

Agnita Kretchmer stared at all the beautiful spools of thread and thought to herself..."All THESE THREADS CAN BE MINE!"

Agnita could hardly contain herself. 

Olsen twins surface in quiet suburb! Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olsen - 1950 revisited!

Photo taken by the National Enquirer in 1950.

People were shocked when the original, famous, Olsen twins went missing in 1948! Nobody knew what happened to them!  Not until a vacationer, in a back yard in a quiet neighborhood in Minnesota, went to have his crystals read!"


"Show us your crystals!" the Olsen twins said in unison.

As soon as the customer heard their voices he looked up at them and said... "OMG! YOU ARE MARI BELL AND ASHLEENA OLSEN!!" They smiled and said together, "Yes, we are!"


Mari Belle and Ashleena Olsen were child stars in their early years. As they got older, they realized they really had an eye for clothes. They started their own clothing line! Then they disappeared and were not seen again until July 3rd 1950, the day they were discovered again.

When the Olsen twins agreed to have their photo taken that day, they said... "Only one photo, please - we live a very private life now and don't want to be written about in the seedy tabloids."




If you want to know more about Merri Bell and Ashleeana Olson be sure to stop back from time to time as there will be updates on the ladies!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

 There was an old woman who lived in a shoe; 

She had so many critters living with her, she didn't know what to do.

She told her first critter,
I'm putting you in charge

She made a run for it on a ship, 

and is still pretty much still 'at large'.

The Privacy Screen - Bird Modesty

Backyard birds really get into their privacy screens! There are billions of them all over the yard! Nine times out of ten, the bird wanting to purchase a new privacy screen will have another bird friend go behind the screen right there in the store! If the interested bird party DOESN'T see his friend through the screen - a sale will be made! 

However, even if you do have a PRIVACY screen - you may SILL not have any privacy! Large Peeping Tom cats often catch covert glimpses of shy birds hiding behind their Bird Privacy Screens! 

 Old Chinese Proverb..."He who surrounds himself with ornate screens for privacy and expects not to be seen, is indeed foolish." 

How do birds always know exactly what direction to fly in?

They use crossing guards!

Starting at the age of 15, persons wishing to become bird crossing guards begin training. This is no easy job! It takes YEARS of fine-tuning intricate bird flight patterns in your head until it's second nature! Bird Crossing Guard trainees accompany birds on their flights daily! They later file detailed reports...important data, which explains ALL possible bird flight patterns. Those reports are stored in a huge data-storage facility at a top secret location within the bird community. The bird crossing guard has access to these vital records at night and can go over new flight patterns when necessary to prepare for his job the following day. 

The Bird Crossing Guard takes his job seriously and he NEVER, EVER gives a bird the wrong directions! Millions of birds depend on the bird crossing guard and the crossing guard never lets them down!

Dustpan Hoarding - one of many bird hoarding nitches

In some bird homes, dustpan hoarding is a problem. 

Two representatives from the TV show, "Bird Hoarders" gathered up just a few of Ethel Crank's dustpans and put them in a pile out in the yard.

   The next step was to get Ethel to agree to keep just ONE of her precious dustpans.

 When Ethel Crank saw the birds from the show touching her prized dustpans she went ballistic!

"DO NOT TOUCH ANOTHER ONE OF MY DUSTPANS OR I'LL SNAP YOUR NECKS LIKE  TWIGS!


Unfortunately, the "Bird Hoarders" television show was unable to feature Ethel Crank in an episode. Ethel Crank maintained a bitter attitude throughout the dustpan elimination process and refused to let go of any of them.  


Ethel Crank has over 2000 dustpans in her small cramped little birdhouse. She barely has room for nesting materials. After the crew of Bird Hoarders left her home, Ethel Crank immediately flew to a near by garage sale and was seen asking..."Ya' got any dustpans?"