That perfect spontaneous moment when love started...

This is what I saw out my window today.  I observed a Black Capped Chickadee approach a lovely fuschia simulation of a bird that I have out on in my back yard.

After he sized her up from behind, he flew forward boldly and sized up his odds.

Then he just went for it and gave that beautiful fuchsia bird A KISS!

 Then he leaned back and looked her in the eye and asked "Well? How'd you like THAT kiss?"

 Evidentially old fusha bird really DID enjoy the kiss because the next thing you know, I saw something like this...synchronized perch holding!

I absolutely LOVE the world of my back yard!

Little Known Facts about Highly Trained Intel Technicians

1. Each Highly Trained Intel Technician wears a 'bunny suit' as protective clothing to prevent even the smallest dust particles from contaminating the microprocessors being manufactured inside the Intel plant.

2. The 'bunny suit' can be very claustrophobic so each day the Intel Technician's go outside the plant and take what is called "A Breathing Break".

3. Each technician is accompanied by an Intel Company Bird Companion who makes sure no outside debris lands on the 'bunny suits' causing any kind of contamination during a 'fresh air' breathing break.

It is the job of the Intel Bird Companion to catch any bugs or debris which may fly into the Intel technician's restricted fresh air breathing spaces. The 'bunny suit' has special built in air pockets which automatically open up inside the suit when the Intel technician steps out into the fresh air 'breathing break' area. The Intel Bird Companions are highly trained and are compensated with some of the freshest bird food in the United States in return for their skilled services.

These Intel Bird Companions have to be on the lookout for even the smallest insect life! If a bug is seen coming anywhere near the Intel Technician, the brave birds capture and swallow the trespassing insect life, without even considering any after effects these bugs could have on the Intel Bird Companions themselves!  Intel is considered one of the leading chip makers and at the top of the charts in promoting good employee morale and ensuring employee longevity!  

Conversation at the Frog Pool

Once upon a time a rich frog invited a bird friend to come and swim in his customized frog swimming pool for the day. "Jump in!" said the frog!

 The bird took one look inside the murky, slimed up, one-of-a-kind, frog swimming pool and said, "Thanks Frog Man but I'm going to have to pass". Then he turned his head to the side so the frog wouldn't see him gagging.

 The End.

Twin Peaks - the story you never saw on television

FBI Agent  Chickadee Cooper wings his way to the town of Twin Peaks to investigate a cold case that happened in 1991. It is the case concerning the kidnapping of a former FBI agent by one of the cats that lived in The Great Northern Hotel. 

 Agent Chickadee Cooper is seen here attempting to interrogate the likely cat suspect who seems to be caught in the act of criminal behavior.  The cat claimed he was framed and that he had no idea how the missing FBI agent got miniaturized and held captive inside the birdhouse he was holding.  An investigation is on-going.

I spy with my little eye...

Recently, as seen here, in an unprecedented photo documentary, a mourning dove was reunited with it's genetic birth mother. When asked how the mourning dove recognized that this creature was indeed it's TRUE birth mother, the mourning dove replied, "It's easy to see that I have my mother's eyes."

Money & Wealth Buddha is for the birds!

"I'm here to rub your stomach old man! Word on the street is that if I rub my feet on your stomach, my life will be filled with abundance! We can do this the easy way or the hard way...your choice old man!"

Rich and Famous Have Top Notch Security!

In the bird community, a famous bird celebrity was coming to the back woods to do a concert. The security forces pulled out all the stops to ensure the celebrity would be well protected!

Here we see one of the bird secret service agents carefully monitoring to see if anybody was going into the birdhouse that didn't belong!

The famous always have wild animals on their property! These wild creatures ALSO guard their owners!

The bird secret service agent sensed that something was about to happen so he flew down to the ground near the leopard.  The Black Capped Chickadee looked at the leopard and said, "No matter who shows up - No matter what they say...Absolutely NOBODY goes into this birdhouse!"

Freaks of Nature as seen by a Black capped chickadee!

An innocent Black Capped Chickadee was on his way to the hardware store to pick up some tools he needed in order to finish building his birdhouse. He flew down and landed on the hardware store front sidewalk. He heard the front door of the hardware store open.  He looked up and THIS is what that Black Capped Chickadee SAW that day! It was Mr. Hardware HIMSELF, in the flesh! A hammer was in-bedded in Mr. Hardware's mouth! This was a man who was dedicated to his craft!   The Black Capped Chickadee jumped up on Mr. Hardware's head but Mr. Hardware didn't seem to notice. The little chickadee couldn't help but be reminded of the day he flew through the "Freaks of Nature" exhibit at the local fair.

Great Neighborhood for first home buyer!

"As a bird Realtor I can tell you that this is a prime bird location as well as a very desirable neighborhood! On this block we have a new 3 story bird condo and a single dwelling home located high off the ground allowing for amazing views of the yard! Right next door is a huge deep loft with vast open spaces, also for sale!" 

Stirring Memories on a Park Bench

"I remember it like it was yesterday. I was resting on this cute little bench in the park when the most lovely female flew down and sat  beside me.  We chirped for hours. We had so many things in common! After awhile she said she had to go. I asked her if she'd meet me here again soon and she said she would. I come here every day, hoping she will return." 

A Gladiator's Secret Weapon!

 Why Gladiators were confident!

 
His helmet glinting in the sun, the gladiator was a fearsome figure. Gladiators always fought naked above the waist with only a simple belt and loincloth covering their lower bodies. What gave them the bravery to battle in this manner, was their secret weapon, the brave chickadee scout!

 A chickadee scout was trained from birth to warn gladiators ahead of time of what they were in store for and who they would be expected to battle. The chickadee scout would fly over the Colosseum and observe who the gladiator opponents would be and then relay this information to it's assigned gladiator. With knowledge of a gladiator's opponent ahead of time, he would know what their weapons were and how to dispatch of them just like that! The gladiator wouldn't get a scratch on him!

 No opponent would be able to defeat a gladiator who had a chickadee scout! Often times when a gladiator was walking towards the Colosseum a lion would join him. If a lion knew a particular gladiator had a chickadee scout with him, he also knew there would be defeated bodies to eat!

Taxi Driver lays down the rules to passenger's improper Taxi Cab Etiquette!

"Listen Mister! I told you when you got into my Radio Flyer taxi that there is NO food consumption inside my ride! I'm willing to haul you all around the yard in my taxi - but I draw the line at eating inside my vehicle! And NOOOOOOO eating over the side of the cab is not an option either! Put down the food or walk away now!"

Carousel Dining!

New at the bird state fair this year! Carousel Dining! 

Chef Pigleotti is now serving his gourmet special recipe chips on a floating carousel restaurant fifty-five feet in the air!  The top of the carousel has special hanging vines which keep the diners from falling out of the revolving carousel while they are eating! The 'ride while you eat carousel' is one of the most popular new rides introduced this year! It is located between the bird midway and the bird food court! You won't want to miss it!  

Welcome to my cottage garden!

It's a little known fact that birds are known for their outstanding backyard gardens. Each year a committee of bird garden experts visit many nominated bird's yards to see and then vote on, who will be the winner of the much coveted filigreed gold ribbon! The famous gold ribbon is embossed with images of lovely birds! The winner of the most charming garden award also wins a monogrammed bird bath in the color of his or her choice!  Mitzy Chirpendale, shown above, was the winner of last year's filigreed gold ribbon! She wow'd the judges with her absolutely breathtaking cottage garden and chose a pale shade of pink for her new bird bath!  Mitzy is also a very creative painter. She informed us that she had hand painted the entrance gates to her stunning garden herself! This gardening birdie is an absolute marvel!

Roosters for sale at local flea market.

"Hey Smilebottom! I'll give you 20 peanuts, two apples and an ear of corn for your rooster!"

The annual prairie garden flea market is held on Fridays through Sundays on the third weekend in April. Here we see one of the local squirrels attempting to negotiate for the rooster Chester Smilebottom is selling.

Alternative Food Sources for Birds

At a recent meeting of the backyard bird council, it was decided that a NEW food source should be added to this years BIRD COUNTY FAIR midway eatery area!   One of the attendees to the backyard bird council raised his feathers and said "I KNOW JUST THE THING!" The bird went on to describe a lovely little pizzeria he spotted for sale on a recent bird run.  

"The pizzeria is in great shape!" the bird went on to say. "It comes with all the utensils we will need and it has a bird window where we can sell the fresh pizza's to our bird customers!" The council voted unanimously to purchase the pizzeria!  

If a bird does laundry in the forest, does anybody hear it?

It's a little known secret, but birds do laundry too! Deep in the woods, there are small coin operated washing machines for washing feathers that have separated from birds and are later found lying around in the dirt.

Feathers of course make great nesting materials because they are so soft and light! The birds find coins on the ground from humans who drop them constantly. It only takes a penny to run a bird washing machine and humans never seem to bother to pick up pennies so there are plenty for the birds to find. Drying the feathers after they have been washed is not a problem, the birds simply set them on a branch or tree limb and they usually dry out within minutes!

Bartering at the local soup kitchen.

"Listen up old man! I brought you a laptop and a phone like you asked. Now you do your part...let's have some of that delicious home made soup people are always lining up for!"

Why Birds Don't Eat Caterpillars!

In a remote corner of the back yard there lived a very large caterpillar. The caterpillar was rumored to be the oldest caterpillar in the yard. The caterpillar pretty much kept to itself and seldom talked to strangers. One day there was a snowstorm, with sleet, and snow blowing like mad! The caterpillar was very happy he had his little mushroom to hide under. It was almost like having a bug size umbrella! The caterpillar was startled when the wind blew a lost bird straight to the ground right next to the caterpillars residence! The poor lost bird was cold and afraid and the kind old caterpillar invited the lost bird to take shelter under it's large mushroom until the storm passed. 

The two talked all night long until the storm passed and the sun came out and dried everything out. The bird was very grateful for the caterpillar's open-mindedness in helping him and when he flew back home he told all the other birds about the caterpillar's kindness. The birds agreed that day that they would no longer dine on caterpillars.

Come up and see me sometime!

"There is always that one that stands out. That one personality that everyone finds absolutely compelling! This time it was at an outdoor cafe...  I looked up for a moment and there...standing all brazen-like and sassy, SHE was! She had her hand on her hip and when she smiled...I literally could not take my eyes off of her! I tried not to act too interested in her but she apparently could tell that I was! She threw around a lot of innuendos but her main point was that she wanted me to come up and see her sometime." 

For a Good Time - be sure to land in my yard!

A bird is coming to my yard for the first time. This is what he will see when he comes to use one of my birdbaths. What does he think upon seeing this? 1. "Nobody has cleaned this bath in decades!" 2. "The idiot on the boat is mucking up the bath because of a leaky outboard motor." 3. "I haven't landed yet so I can still turn around." 4. "The mermaid needs to get back into the water or she'll die!"

I'm a Dumpster Diver and I Love It! - New reality show on the animal channel.

"It was Tuesday night and I had just gotten off of work. I ride in on Tuesdays instead of scurrying because I know I will have a long night ahead of me. On Tuesday nights I go Dumpster Diving! I jump into the dumpsters around sun-set and I'm usually still in them at sun-rise! It usually takes me from 5 to 6 hours to weed through all the old nasty empty shelled hulls! For every used shell I have to spit out, there is always ONE perfectly good seed to eat! I LOVE DUMPSTER DIVING! It's my life!"

What came first? The chickadee or the egg?

In the northeastern acre of a back yard, surprising occurrences took place.  On April 12, 1948, a special breed of chickadee laid a very spectacular egg! The egg was tended to by two inefficient surrogate father figures who took turns keeping an eye on the prized egg.  Due to lack of decent nurturing, the egg never fully incubated and has remained in it's original state of solidity. The female chickadee who laid the egg was rather timid. She clung to a tree branch and just after producing the egg  kept tweeting..."I don't think I'm up for this!" The egg was sought after by the art world and was said to have once been on display in the New York Museum of Natural History. Since that last report, the egg has been stolen and now is reputed to be somewhere in Bangkok. The egg is said to have 'special powers'. Rumor has it, that it glows in the dark!

Planet of the Giants! (A psychological thriller)

It was the year 4011. A fugitive chickadee was running away from some GIANTS when it came upon a barren wasteland strewn with large items from years past. The chickadee flew down and perched upon a large coffee cup that was embedded in the ground. As he clung to the side of the coffee cup, a very LARGE jack came spinning over and stopped right in front of the chickadee. The chickadee looked at the LARGE jack and the realization that the GIANTS, who he was running from, had KIDS, terrified the chickadee to it's core! The only thing GIANT KIDS liked more, than playing with toys, is PLAYING WITH CHICKADEES!  FLY AWAY! FLY AWAY NOWWWWWWWWWW!

First of it's kind Outdoor Bird Spa open for business!

In late December, the first ever Outdoor Bird Spa opened up in the backyard! Shown here are several excited finches experiencing a dive into the cold plunge pool! Visitors to the Outdoor Bird Spa find themselves drawn to the first of it's kind 'chiminea styled sauna' where they perch on special perching shelves built right into the sauna.  After the birds get warm enough they immediately fly outside the sauna and dive into the cold plunge pool! The icy cold spring water is so fresh, birds often take enjoyment in drinking the water too! Since December 1st, the new Outdoor Bird Spa has had over 2000 bird visitors!

When creatures post on Craig's List....

"Hey old guy! Can you hear me? I wrote and then called you about your posting on Craig's List! I'm here to buy your collection of in-the-shell peanuts! You said some of them date back to 1912? I brought a truck load of grass and leaves for trade just as you told me to... remember you said it would be a fair price for the peanut collection. Are you hearing me old man?"

"Come one, come all, to bear witness to the Amazing Invisible Bird!"

Every year, the Bird State Fair passes through the back yard township. There is always a bird 'barker' who attempts to attract other birds to the live entertainment that the bird fair brings!  


"Step right up birds and birdettes! Adults and hatching-lings alike! Step right up and buy your ticket to see the one and only Amazing Invisible Bird! You can see her here having a nice cup of coffee before she starts her act! Oh wait! You can't see her can you? That's because she is INVISIBLE! That's right ladies and gentlemen, fly don't walk to purchase your ticket and you too can see The Amazing Invisible Bird!"

Honey I'll be your shelter.

One day in the backyard, a cat was meandering around and it spotted a nice little sparrow to dine on.


The frightened little sparrow kept flying from branch to branch trying to hide from the cat when it spotted a HUGE fish in the garden!  The bird landed on the fish's tail and hid behind the fish's massive body.


The fish smiled and said "Honey I'll be your shelter from that bad old cat!" Then the garden fish puffed itself up and emitted it's best 'fish gone bad' odor and the smell caused the cat to flee from the garden. The sparrow and the fish became best of friends that day and could be seen together often.

Chickadee Party Planner

In the bird community, there are many spring and summer parties held in the back yard.  Each spring, a top chickadee party planner meets with a representative from various catering services. They usually meet out in the yard where the caterer sets up a sample picnic menu for the chickadee to try. On this particular afternoon the chickadee was interviewing Birdie from Birdie's Catering and he ate at least 11 of the all-you-can-eat meal-worms she had cooked! Birdie mentioned that the worms are soaked for 5 days in a secret recipe which makes it almost impossible to stop eating them! They are heaven to a bird's palate!  There was only one worm left after the non-stop sampling and the chickadee was going to offer it to the caterer but then his total love of the secret recipe soaked worms got the best of him and he ate the last one too.


Birdie's catering got the job!

Outrage at the Bird Bath!

Once upon a time, there was a lovely bright yellow finch. The yellow finch loved to drink from a secluded bird bath that the grounds-keeper cleaned every day.  On this particular day, the yellow finch was flying high with the anticipation of having a long cool drink of fresh water!


The yellow finch flew down and pulled up short at the edge of it's favorite bird bath. In the birdbath was a Speedo-clad MAN and a friendly frog laughing and splashing, having a great time! The yellow finch looked at the man and then looked down into the water and tweeted loudly... "This is an outrage!"  Then he flew off to report this travesty to the grounds-keeper. 


The next day the grounds-keeper posted a large sign which said "BIRDS ONLY! All Other creatures - KEEP OUT! - URINE DETECTION CHEMICAL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED IN THIS BIRD BATH!"

What bird's see...

I'm pretty sure that this is how I look to the birds! 

One day it occurred to me that THIS is probably what the birds see when I come outside to feed them! I'm ALWAYS smiling at them!

Birthdays and Bird-sized Betty

Conversation overheard in the back yard....

"Well, well, well Betty!! What do we have here?" "Could it be that somebody stayed out all night and OVER DID IT celebrating her birthday?"
"Oh hello Chirpee! Could you please go and soak a large piece of bark in the cool water in the birdbath and then bring it over here and place it on my forehead?"

BIRD CUPCAKE WARS!

It's cupcake vs. cupcake in the backyard bird wars competition! Each week two bird decorators face off in a special elimination challenge! The prize? 10,000 sunflower chips!
The judge is shown here eyeing up cupcake entry #2 from Robinette Robin! The judge just finished totally consuming all of cupcake entry #1 from Chelsey Chickadee!  Apparently, the judge LOVED it! Let's see if cupcake entry #2's petite size gives Chelsey a bird leg up in this competition!