Popular children's game goes awry...

Game Start.

"Hey kids!...I spy, with my little eye......
...something that starts with the letter... F!

...the correct answer is..."A Fish!... 


...Oh my stars kids...it's a poor little  fish out of water!... Somebody help!... This fish needs to get into deeper water!... This is a dangerous situation for this poor fish!...  What kind of people would allow this fish to try to survive in such a tiny little amount of water!... Somebody call the ASPCA!... HEEEEEEELLLLLLLP!!!... THIS IS A TRAVESTY AND AN ABOMINATION!"


Game Over.

Shoe Bandit On the Run from the Law

LaVonne Obermeir is wanted in 13 states for shoe theft.  This is the most recent photo of  LaVonne. It was taken without her knowledge during an undercover covert operation to apprehend this individual in Nevada .

LaVonne Obermeir is approximately 4 inches tall.  She is brown and tan with piercing black eyes.  She is a flight risk.

If you see LaVonne Obermeir, do not approach.  Please call the special hot line at 592-BAD-BIRD.  

She was last seen fleeing Bergdorf Goodman with several pairs of designer shoes.  

A Little Act of Kindness can make someone's day!

Every summer, Mrs. Albertina d'Angelo Delgado filled up her favorite over-sized spaghetti dish with water. Then she would set it outside on the lawn.

Every summer, Ernie O’Malley, her favorite little neighborhood Sparrow, would come and play in the water filled bowl, which completely delighted Mrs. Albertina d'Angelo Delgado!

THIS YEAR, Mrs. Albertina D’Angelo Delgado, purchased a SURPRISE for her little Sparrow friend!

  

This year, when Mrs. Albertina D’Angelo Delgado put out her favorite over-sized spaghetti bowl – there was a miniature toy submarine in it!

When little Ernie O’Malley flew down and saw the submarine addition to the spagetti bowl he was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to jump on and play!

This was going to be Ernie O’Malley’s best summer yet! 

 "No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."

LAST PERSON YOU EVER THOUGHT WOULD OWN IN A LAPTOP!

On a high plateau in India, there sits a lone figure in the lotus position.  He sits on an ornately carved temple ledge.

A black-capped chickadee has flown for days and traveled many miles in the hopes of seeking counsel with the wise figure before him.

The black-capped chickadee lands on a tree branch near the man whose philosophical beliefs are legendary. The chickadee asks the cross-legged man, "Oh wise and devout person...can YOU tell me how to get my little bird legs into a lotus position? No matter how hard I try - they just won't bend like that!" 

The all-knowing source of great learning sitting before him responded and said, "Be patient little bird...I shall type your dilemma into my laptop computer and together we shall find your answer."

The black-capped chickadee was absolutely astonished to learn that the wise minds of India used laptops for their information!

After the black-capped chickadee flew off, a local sparrow, who had witnessed the conversation, flew over to the wise man. 

"Listen Vivek, a word of advice ... I know you  really love your new laptop, but it's not really working with your reputation as an all-knowing deity!" 

When the love bug bites...

When Bella the Bee first met Stanley the Bird, they engaged in conversation for hours. Bella was smitten and thought Stanley was the handsomest bird she had ever seen.

Stanley equally taken with Bella the Bee, said "Bella! You are the most magnificent, voluptuous BEE I have ever laid eyes on!"

The relationship lasted an entire summer and then Bella the Bee said it was time for her to move on.  Stanley the Bird was heartbroken.

When your strange, people don't remember your name.

Betsy Talulah Wrinklestein introduced herself to a cat passing through her garden and offered the cat a fresh picked flower.

The look on the cat's face told Betsy that the cat was extremely leery about accepting a flower from a complete stranger.

Betsy Talulah Wrinklestein had seen that look before!

WHO would YOU like to snuggle with?

Stickey Fingers the squirrel thought he was "all that". He thought he could get any creature he set his sights on to go home with him.

There was only ONE female who wouldn't give Stickey Fingers the time of day.

Frogette Greenaway!

Frogette was the owner and also tended bar at Pebbles. Pebbles was a popular Critter Bar and Grill.

Every Friday night, like clockwork, a very drunk Stickey Fingers would nuzzle up to Frogette and feed her a cheap line.

And every Friday night, someone sitting at the bar, would ask, "Frogette, How can you STAND that guy?!!!"

Frogette would answer..."That particular sleazy squirrel, stocks the bar, with thousands of bog flies, imported from the Amazon rain forest, every week!" . "And those flies, happen to be, MY FAVORITE SNACK!"..."Besides that, he's harmless. When he doesn't get intoxicated on alcoholic peanut blender drinks, he's not so bad." 

Coveted yellow finch beauty secrets! Shhhhhhhh...

One of Hollywood's best kept beauty secrets concerns the always adorable YELLOW FINCHES!

The yellow finches in Hollywood always look perky, fresh, cute and ALIVE with ENERGY!  What's their secret?  

Behind the gargantuan HOLLHWOOD sign, there is a healing waterfalls!  The ONLY birds that can take advantage of this rejuvenating water are yellow finches!  The yellow finches have the ideal body structure to get through the secret passage way that allows the birds ACCESS to the WATER!

The yellow finches pay a LOT of money for this access but they ALL say 'IT'S WORTH IT' because EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY STAND IN THE WATER- they become BRIGHT YELLOW with illuminating beauty! The kind of beauty a yellow finch has in it's early youth!

We Paint Ugly Birdhouses!

Ted Cottagehoose and his partner, Mr. Timman, find ugly birdhouses. These are usually the birdhouses that have been cast aside or discarded by the bird community.

  Ted has an extraordinary creative eye. With the use of paint, Ted can completely transform a run down birdhouse into a work of art!

"Listen Ted, I flew by a  huge pile of beat up birdhouses sitting on the curb, over in the tangle-town neighborhood. I think we should go pick them up!"

One of Ted's favorite colors is red and any bird house Ted paints red sells like birdseed hotcakes every time!

When Ted finishes painting birdhouses, he has 

an open house every month and birds flock by the hundreds hoping to find a new lovely painted bird house to live in!

"Hi shoppers! I'm sorry but the birdhouses won't be ready for selling until next month!"

Birch Swamp Loggers (Episode 12) cable TV

Ace Kevinito is a cable TV, squirrel personality, who owns a big red, birch-lugging-rig. His swamp log trailer (rig) as he calls it, is his pride and joy. Nothing makes him happier than to see the trailer full of birch swamp logs! When that isn't happening, Ace Kevinito often loses his temper with his crew. 

"EMPTY TRAILERS MEANS 'NO ONE GETS PAID!

"That fool greenhorn hasn't got the sense to pick up logs and put them in the trailer!"

"Now THAT is what I'm talking about! Nobody take any breaks! Keep fillin' up my rig!"