Fresh churned v.s. Store Bought Butter

 Hilda Nightingale knows her butter. She has been making the best and the freshest leg churned butter since she was just a little girl right out of the nest! Her butter is legendary!  Hilda's butter recipe is a closely guarded secret among the bird community, but rumor has it that her secret ingredient is 'grasshopper innards' . 

When birds compared Hilda's leg churned butter to store bought butter brands, the store bought brands didn't begin to measure up. 

Hilda doesn't sleep much.  She has to keep a close watch over her prized butter sticks.  She actually had to go out and purchase covers for the butter because insects would land on it constantly and then get caught up in the butter, which would completely ruin the presentation, as well as the flavor!


The butter covers also helped because, at some point, a scoundrel varmint, will try to come over and dip his paws in her butter in order to taste it and try to figure out her secret!

Icky Uncle Fred plans a picnic.

"Eh, listen Uncle Fred, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set up a nice picnic for me and my friends but I'm just not comfortable with the fact that YOU regurgitated worms and birdseed and made it into a frozen slushy for everybody!" 

Little Red Riding Hood - one little girl you don't want to mess with.

Little Red Riding Hood loved birds! As a matter of fact, Little Red Riding Hood's best friend was a bird! 

The following is a series of events you won't find in any storybook. These events took place while Little Red Riding Hood was with her best friend...


Little Red Riding Hood lived with her grandmother in the woods.  When she was just 5 years old, her mother had run off with a clown from the circus so Little 'Red' was raised by her sweet grandmother.

One day, Little Red Riding Hood brought her best bird friend, 'China' to her grandmother's house in the woods. 'Red' and 'China' were inseparable friends and they did everything together!

That day, Little Red riding Hood and 'China' went outside to pick some nice yellow daisies for 'Red's' Grandma.

"It looks like some one was here before us!" said China as she observed the stomped up area where several daisies used to be!

When Little Red and "China" got back to grandmother's house, they immediately observed that a large smiling CLOWN was standing in the house and...he was also holding yellow daisies for Little Red's grandma!!!

             "Noooo! Grandma!" shouted Little Red Riding Hood as she plopped down on the bed with her yellow daisies!

  "Nooooo Grandma!!!! TELL ME YOU'RE NOT DATING A CLOWN!"  


China watched her friend's reaction to the clown and thought to herself.."Oh this is going to get really bad..." 

Before Grandma could even respond,the clown picked Little Red Riding Hood up and said, "Hey Red! Your grandmother is a fine looking woman and I intend to move in with her!" 

  

 "THAT IS SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN CLOWN!  Put me down!!" shouted Little Red Riding Hood!

The clown set Little Red back down, then proceeded to ransack the place and then went to lie down on grandma's bed.

"Listen pal!", said China...  "There was a wolf who pulled a similar stunt with Litte Red Riding Hood's grandma about a month ago." 

"AND...?" said the clown.

"And"...said China..."Little Red Riding Hood made sure that the wolf didn't come around trying to eat her grandmother any more!"

"SO?" said the clown.

"So"...said China, "Little Red hates CLOWNS even more than she hates big bad wolves!"

The clown wasn't really phased by
China's story and continued to relax on grandma's bed. "What's a little girl in a red hoodie going to do, huh?", the clown asked as he laughed.

During that conversation, Little Red Riding Hood was furiously riding  her old rocking horse while chanting..."Clown's gotta go!"  "Clown's gotta go!"

Then...in the blink of an eye...Little Red Riding Hood ran over and flipped the clown off of grandmother's bed and onto the floor.

Right after that, Little Red Riding Hood climbed to the top of a ladder which she placed next to the clown and she JUMPED, right onto the clown's stomach!

The clown had made a serious mistake coming to Little Red Riding Hood's grandma's house! Little Red Riding Hood didn't let ANYBODY mess with her grandma!

China looked down at the clown and said.."You should know that Little Red is proficient in martial arts, kick-boxing and hand to hand combat."  Those were the last words the clown remembered hearing before he passed out.

When the clown came to, he found himself on big rock island, a place where no one ever gets in or out, unless they have a ladder.

"There's no escape from this place pal!" said China as she climbed down the fortress of rocks on Rock Island. 

Behind him, somewhere along the rocks, the clown could hear the sound of a hungry wolf howling.

Little Red Riding Hood and her best friend China continued to have happy times together.

Bird Memories from the 40's and 50's

In the 1940's and 1950's, outdoor birds kept their bird baths filled with milk.  The milkman would come once a week and leave the bottles with the head of the bird household.  That bird would carefully eek out just enough milk to fill the birdbath nearest it's home. That same bird would stand guard to make sure that only it's immediate family and close bird relatives bathed in the fresh milk.

Fresh milk was a valuable commodity in the 40's and 50's and in the bird community only the very wealthy could afford to purchase milk for their bird baths.

Birds would bathe in fresh milk in a similar manner that humans enjoy bathing in precious oils.  The milk would infuse a bird's bones with calcium, resulting in birds having their fragile wing bones grow strong for flight!  It also was of great benefit to building strong beaks and legs.

Since birds did not have refrigerators, when the milk got hot and curdled, the baths would appear to be filled with thick steaming buttermilk.  This was also considered a luxury to bathe in, again similar to human's basking in hot mud pits. 

And now a word from our sponsor....

Smart bird moms supplement their family's diet with Life Cereal!

 Worms, bugs, and bird seed don't contain the important vitamins a growing family needs. 

Life cereal is chock full of Vitamin C, Vitamin A, Calcium and Iron which is important for maintaining healthy feathers and bones! 

Best of all!  Birds Love It!

Librarians - Tedious or Exciting Career Choice?

Libraries in the bird community are open Mondays through Saturdays, from 8:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.

All birds, especially juvenile birds, enjoy checking books out of the library.  

If there was anything that got the head bird librarian, Mergatroid Crankbottom, peeved, it was  lazy young birds who had no respect for library books!

Every day, when the branch of the Greater Back Yard Library closed, Mergatroid Crankbottom would have to painstakingly, re-shelf the books that careless young birds left lying around.

  It was the bane of her existence.

Things definitely go better with Coke!

Ever wonder how Batman has the energy to save the world from Villains every day?

He has his bird butler, Alfredo, keep him stocked with delicious, caffeinated,  Coca-Cola!

Ever wonder how Batman unwinds at the end of the day?

He and his bird companion, Robinette, hang out on the couch and drink refreshing bottles of Coca-Cola! 

Ever wonder if Batman takes his cape off and where he stores it?

He drinks Coca-Cola and then re-purposes the bottle!

 Ever wonder if Batman can get any sleep after drinking a LOT of Coca-Cola every day?

He most definitely can!

Ever wonder WHY Batman drinks so much Coca-Cola?

He knows that everything he does goes better with Coke!!!!!

Birds Flock to Sold Out Concert!

Every year, the world famous pianist, Lee Bird Rotchkey, wows the crowd at the Minnesota Zoo! Lee Bird Rotchkey's concerts are part of the Minnesota Zoo's, Out-Door-Concert-Series, and the birds absolutely love him!

Lee Bird Rotchkey often remembers his first outdoor concert at the "Music in the Zoo" Amphitheater, when his much speculated about partner, joined him at the piano.

His adoring fans often pay hundreds of dollars to obtain front row seats to Rotchkey's piano concerts.

SOLUTION FOR REMOVAL OF COTTONWOOD TREE DEBRIS FROM LAWNS!

Cottonwood Trees are a constant problem in Minnesota. Every year the cottonwood trees literally burst and emit miniature bits of cotton.  These wisps of cotton, land... like millions of snowflakes, on the lawn!

The end result is...over half of the bird YARDS in Minnesota, are COVERED IN COTTON!

The industrious bird population of Minnesota, saw this as an opportunity, to 'go green', by re-using the annoying cotton! They gather up all the cotton on the ground and use it to line the walls of their homes!  It is the perfect answer to providing much needed warmth to their bird houses during the long harsh winters in Minnesota!

State paid bird construction crews, work day and night, picking bits of cotton from the ground, using very expensive crane equipment. Because there is SO much cotton on Minnesota lawns,  two new large rigs had to be purchased by the City of Minneapolis!

On particularly hot days, the foreman shuts down the machines and bird construction employees go out into the yards and pick up the cotton with their beaks.

 This is NOT a job for a weak bird or birds who have arthritis in their beak joints.

Icky Uncle Fred...

COMING SOON....

Everybody's got an

icky uncle Fred...

soon....

'Icky Uncle Fred '
is
going 

to
 be

HERE!!!!